Much more then - page 2. + DOWNFALL.

Well i did know well that my friends next day will continue to play that to us all so exciting game without me. And I did begun to look for new friends. Kids who were more less in same predicament as me. STREET KIDS as me.
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And so with new friends I did begun to get in more downfall experiences. From conflicts with law to more bad marks in school. I did fail grade four two times in the row. And Educators suggested for me to be transferred in to Special School. Since my mother did go to work and my father drinking. Then it was up to my grandmother again to go with me to school. She did explain to everybody my situation at home. But it did not help. To me Special School ment end of my life. My world my all prospects for future. End of everything.
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I did wanted to be something or someone in my life. But notion of special school history ment to me that I would come to be an second class citizen. Joke to everyone.
All I did need was just little stability in life. Chance to get some sleep at night. And solid decent food.
But I was still just a kid and I had no voice and so authorities did decide for me.
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Special School was an eye opener for me. Majority of guys were there one step from the Reform School. My classmates were masturbating openly in class simply it was a circus a la imitation of educational institution.
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One thing do our Special School was located near to the hotel where my mother was working. So I became to be able to go there for lunches after school. Anything for fresh food.
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I did learn to skip school more often. And one thing I am glad today that once I did made my decision to go to school instead of not.
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One day our teacher told us that our class will be attending an concert in near bye theater. Well to me it did sound exciting because at the time I had an aunt and uncle who were childless and who made  a deal with my parents for me to  go live with them 3 days a week on the weekend.
They were much better off financially then my parents. My uncle was bit intellectual and he did teach me love for classical music.
In that concert by Ivan Kawaciuk we were told that concert guitarist who was on stage was also once attending Special School like we were.
Eventually after finishing school he went to do in the evenings to do his normal school then after he did his high school in the evenings and in the end he went to university to study classical guitar.
At the end of the we were told to stay in school  do our best and that some of us will achieve our life goals as well that he did.
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It did blast me away. Suddenly I had some prospects for my future in life.
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When they did placed me in to special school they did place me in to grade six where I would have under normal circumstances did supposed to be.. Those days in grade 8 was last year of normal education. And so when it came time to decide for me my new future again I did wanted to go in the evening to do my normal schooling.
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Well difference between me and that Concert Guitarist was in that I was not restricted in to the wheelchair as did he. And again authorities did decide for my future to go in to the { SPECIAL VOCATIONAL INSTITUTE } .
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It became to be an lowest point in my life.

Much more then just few ordinary memories.

by Miroslav Vlcek.
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Maples was my last place of employment. I did loved in there. To me Maples was like a large garden filled with large maples and other trees. Everywhere was green grass and since I love the nature I did feel like in paradise.
I suppose when it did arrived I should have realized that I am sliding in to my P.T.S.D. flush backs but I did not.
Reason for it was that my very first P.T.S.D. came to me as encounter with my memories of my involvement in the resistance to the occupation of my country of birth Czechoslovakia in 1968.
But my new encounter was dealing with my childhood what I did not consider as chaotic as 68.
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My life = when I was small I was living with my grandparents in Rozdelov what is Kladno 4 industrial city located in heart of Czech Republic.
During my life my grandmother did tell me that I do owe her my life. That is if she would not remove me at the right time from my parents house then I would have died as the small child very same way as did my older brother and my younger sister.
Why it was me who was chosen to let live ? I was never told. But despite to it I was grateful for it.
My grandmother was my legal guardian then and it was her who did walk me for the first time to grade one in Old Rozdelov Public School. To where I was going till my grade three.
When I was in grade three my grandfather became to be very sick and his doctors were predicting to him very short tome in among us.
And so my gradfather did made his wish to die at home in his own bed instead of in the hospital.
What did create the problem for him with me around. And since my father was all ready living on disability then it was decided for me to go live with my parents. Also in Rozdelov.

 

And so my grandfather would be able to die in peace and quiet then I was sent to be living with my parents whom on one side were bye that time complete strangers to me.People who vould without my grandmothers doubt whould have killed me as they did my two siblings.

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Now don't take me wrong. My parents were not some bloody killers despite to my mothers German name. My mother did came to Kladno from the willage close to German border she did spoke German and came to work in the Hotel with German speaking owners of the hotel u Bileho Beranka what was located on the city main square.My father before his retirement was an coal miner.

Years of Disfunctionality .

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My mother did used to go to work 6 days a week. She did leave home about 8am and did not return back home till 6 or 8 but also often 11 or at midnight.

Mother did used bring to me and to my father every day supper and for the next day sauces in container and dumplings in the bowl.

We did not have the refrigerator as of yet those years and so mostly sauces did get sower over night and my father did get a habit in over steaming our dumplings in to the mash. I was used to eat tasteful fresh food at my grandmas. And so mostly I did eat only once a day when our food was fresh after my mothers return from work.

This had been my cultural shock. When it came to my father then did undergo true two stomach operations and for it was not able to handle alcohol too much in it. And for it every day after all pubs did close my father did return home. Went to sit in the kitchen on chair. My mother did placed chair beside that chair and my father was throwing up everything what he did dring that night in under great stomach pain my father was screaming for few hours and hours without 

brake.

This did whake me up every night and seldom did allowed me to go back to sleep.

WHAT ?

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One afternoon I was playing exciting game with my new friends near our house. We all did like that game. In around six pm one of my friends after another was called home for supper. When I did used to be living with my grandmother then I too would have been called home but this was no more. My father was already drinking in Pub and war probably drunk. My mother was still at work. And street and my friends were my only salvation. I did hate that time of the day when all my friends did left me and I did wish for that my siblings would still be alive and I would not end up all alone.

However that was not to be. Well in the end it was me and guy whom I did consider to be my new best friend did stayed behind. Every each of our friends did made their wish to continue in that exciting game what we were playing at next day. And so me and my friend we were were making our strategy for next day.

When unexpectedly mother of my friend appeared beside us. So here you are she said to her son. I did call you several times but you did not hear me. She  was talking in friendly voice even to me when I said to her my hello.

And so my friend had to go home. Well so I would not be alone and start falling in to depression I did kept on our strategy on my own.

When suddenly I came up with new character for my self that I would adopt in next day's game. I thought it was a great idea and I did wanted to share my idea with my friend whom I could see to be entering their courtyard through their gate. In hope that I could catch up with them before they will enter in to their house I did begun to run to their house. My friends parents had a tall fence around their garden from wooden boards and tall gate out of same boards . Every board on the gate had in between small space that if you feme close to the gate then you were able to see in to their courtyard by placing your eye to that space.

So to be sure that they were still out I placed my eye to the space and froze.

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Yes they ware but scene what I have seen in front of the house did completely froze voice in my troth. My friends mother was standing beside me friend and she was slapping him over his head. And I could hear her screaming at him. How many times did I told you not to be friend with that Vlcek's kid !!!

His father is an alcoholic. He is a bad street kid and so on.

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I was in complete shock. Why was my friend punished by his mother so harshly for being my friend. I did not feel responsible for my fathers reputation. What was it that it made me to be so bad ?